Last time we had ­­­­­­­­­­­­Voile MOJO SPLITBOARD (Slightly used demos!!!!!!!!!!) they were gone in about a week. So we thought maybe, just maybe, we should try to get more. This notion was met with ample resistance from our snootiest tele-skiers on staff; they expressed grave concern that we may turn into a snowboard shop if this splitboard business gets out of hand. There was a heated discussion, harsh words were used, punches were thrown (none landed), tears and blood were flying everywhere, feelings were hurt, cheap shots were taken, Curtis got a hangnail, but in the end, logic prevailed.  

So did we get more?
 
Oh we got more alright… 26 more!! Yeah, what now? That’s right, you’ve got nothing to say, because we have 26 MOJO SPLITBOARD (Slightly used demos!!!!!!!!!!) and you don’t. Are you goanna cry now because we have 26 MOJOs and you only have a skill-saw and an old Simms Sedition?  
 
Well, chin up buttercup; we’re not trying to hoard them all to our selves. Heck, most of us have a deep seeded resentment toward snowboarding as a whole (this is largely because most of us know in our hearts that snowboarding is truly superior). All silly rivalries aside, here is our super-mega-ultimate value package (of doom): Voile Demo MOJO w/ TRACTOR SKINS Package - I’ts like buying a MOJO (at a really good price), and then getting the skins (which you NEED) for $50 off – not too shabby.

And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
‘Cause there’s a million things to do
You know that there are

-Yusuf Islam

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Contrary to popular belief, Sanuk sandals are not just for CU students with hemp necklaces, fo-hawks, and board-shorts. Not at all, Sanuk sandals are for any one who likes casual comfortable footwear (I’m looking at you senior citizens). 

First, I would just like to say that these Sanuk sandals smell incredible! They really do. I stuffed my face in the box when I first cracked it open and hyperventilated in the delicious fumes until I almost passed out. Hiro saw me do this. Then I asked Hiro if he would place a bag with a few of these in it over my head and tape it securely around my neck so as to maximize my aromatic experience. Hiro thought this sounded unsafe.
 
Secondly, I’d like to call attention to the fact that some of these are actually vegan sandals; that means you can eat them. It also means that no adorable woodland creatures were harmed, maimed, stomped on, kicked or even made fun of in the production of this fragrant footwear.
 
Ladies:

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Hi everybody. We just got a bunch more of that Minus 33.

 
I feel that the last round should have sold quicker, I really do. People just don’t know the name, or how truly fabulous this stuff really is. I think that we all have a responsibility to our community, our store, and indeed to humanity at large, to hype up Minus 33 at every opportunity.
 
More of the same…:  
 
 
And one new one!!
 
Minus 33 MERINO S/S TEE (closeouts) – ultra sexy…no medium’s though.
 
For more information on Minus 33 click HERE
 
Recognize,
 

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We got some more Smartwool socks. We are all pretty happy about this. Especially Nick, who is by his own admission “a man who enjoys a nice pair of socks”.

 We only got one size and one color of one style - Smartwool Men’s SKIING LIGHT Sock (closeouts). These aint no fancy PHD or nothing like that, no, this is an everyman’s sock. This is a skiing sock for the gentleman in the musty F150 who gets up at 5:15am on Saturday to beat ski traffic, pays full price for his day pass, drinks MacDonalds coffee, works an honest blue collar job, listens to the Dire Straights, and pays too much for health insurance. Men like these don’t need no sissy medium cushion ski sock, and they don’t need to be paying $20 a pop for them. No, a nice light pair of merino wool socks in an outdated pair of boots is all it takes to provide a cathartic ski day for America’s backbone.

 
And Harry doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene
He’s got a daytime job he’s doing alright
He can play the Honky Tonk like anything
Saving it up for Friday night

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The name Cloudveil has always sounded kind of midevil to me; kind of aristocratic too. Upon close examination of our recent closeout buy, I believe both of these irrational associations to be spot on.  The name Cloudveil just sounds like one of Arthur’s knights, and Knights are usually pretty aristocratic are they not? Case in point. 


Furthermore, I believe all Cloudveil apparel to be about as tough and rugged as chainmail (and about 1/68th the weight to boot!). I’ll bet if there were an option for Cloudveil apparel in Dungeons and Dragons it would have the same hit-points as standard chain mail (I would like to consult an experiened Dungeon Mater about this). 

I could totally see myself decked out in Cloudveil, broad sword pointed to the sky, charging into battle on a golden chariot drawn by white stallions, prepared for death or glory, but nothing in between.

Anyway, this is what we just got from Cloudveil:



Being a noble has never been so affordable,
 
SB
 

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19
Feb

An examination of the contrast between inexpensive Scarpa ski boots and horrible things

Part one.

There are a lot of bad things that happen in life, but the deals we have going on Scarpa boots is not one of them. Imagine some old lady in a Cadillac running over your foot and your dog in one fell swoop, then getting out of the car and flipping you off… now, imagine a new pair of Scarpa SPIRIT 4s for only $499.95…see what I mean?

How about if you had a choice between a new pair ofScarpa T1s (men’s or women’s), $479.95, or getting slapped in the face until you die by Evan Lasacek?

The point is: life can get a whole lot worse than getting a new pair of ski boots at a smokin’ deal. So do it now, and there is a good chance that nothing bad will ever happen to you (flawless logic, trust me).   

Don’t come crawling to me if your arm falls off saying “gee, I wish I had purchased those super cheap Scarpa boots before my arm fell off because now I can’t afford them”, because I will just try to make you feel worse about your decision.

If your beard gets too long and you are mistaken for a terrorist and tortured for ever and ever, it will most likely be because you failed to buy new ski boots when you had the chance.

If you give birth to the essence of all evil…you’ll know why.

Play it safe, buy some boots.

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Here we have two deals that are too good to be true: the Voile ASYLUM Ski ‘08/’09for $279.95, and get this, Voile MOJO SPLITBOARDS (Slightly used demos!!!!!!!!!!), only $499.95!!. They are going faster than fast. Get some, get some NOW!!

SB

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Nodding in and out of consciousness, wondering if my incessant yawning is but a dream or just my body’s desire to do so, I diligently receive one amazing sleeping pad deal after another. So tired in fact, I barely notice that the SWEETWATER filters going mindlessly from my pile, back into the box are not sleeping pads at all…no, they are water filters…they sure are.

As I sort through more and more of this incredibly inexpensive Therm-a-rest product, my fatigue begins to show. I can’t seem to understand what anything even is, shadow people dart back and forth, and rudimentary object recognition seems to flicker.
 
Trekker Lounge!?? What the heck is that? Is it some wi-fi spot at a community college where pimply virgins go to talk to each other in Klingon? If so, that’s where I want to be… those were the good old days; ignorance is bliss. I don’t even think the Klingons have a word for ignorance, or bliss; to me they are synonymous.
 
Now for some reason I’m wishing I had taken the opportunity to learn Klingon so long ago… Sleeping pads, right. We sure got a lot of them…yes we did… sure did.
 
-Therm-A-Rest BASECAMP (Blems) – this is a monster of a sleeping pad - 77’’ x 25’’ and 2.5’’ thick!!! The people on the packaging all look so happy. I can’t help but to think that, with a new BASECAMP, I too might be that happy.
-Therm-A-Rest TRAIL LITE (Blems) – light and comfy, like a tub full of whipped cream
-Therm-A-Rest TRAIL PRO (Blems) – professional grade sleeping apparatus
-MSR SWEET WATER PURIFIER SYSTEM (off color) – the only thing different about these filters is that they are Army green instead of red. These units were actually produced expressly for our brave soldiers, but they didn’t want them, or just decided to stick to iodine, or something. Anyway, that’s why we have them.
-Therm-A-Rest Women’s PROLITE 3 Sleeping Pad (Closeouts) – Lisa got really amped about these
-Therm-A-Rest Women’s PROLITE 4 Sleeping Pad (closeouts) Lisa did not get nearly as amped about these
-Therm-A-Rest TREKKER LOUNGE 20 (closeouts)– As it turns out these have nothing to do with Star Trek; silly me. More of a portable lounge.
 
If anyone finds me sleeping under my desk in the morning, do be a dear, and wake me,
 
Zzzzzzzzzz,
 
Sam

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 Let’s start with the Rolling Stones:

“You can’t always get what you want,
but if you try sometimes,
you just might find you get what you need,
aaahhhh yeah ”
           
Then Jagger starts strutting about the stage in that very special way of his, and all the ladies instantly become pregnant. Now let’s examine the meaning of that Rock ‘n’ roll cliché, and then find some far reaching way to relate it to BD closeouts.
 
“You can’t always get what you want” – that’s a given. We would love to get closeout deals on everything; but that’s just not how it works. I asked for a unicorn named Osiris like four Christmases ago and it never happened. We asked REI nicely if they could just send all of their customers directly to us, and they said no, like we were asking for some huge favor. You get the point.
 
“But if you try sometimes,” – and we do try, trust me. We try really, really hard. I personally try so hard sometimes that I get a little backed up. Point is: effort is essential.
 
“You just might find you get what you need,” – and we do, and so do our customers, though some of our customers don’t know what they need until we tell them. And really, if we were to get every closeout buy that we ever wanted we would be so overwhelmed with joy and workload that our operation would collapse upon itself’. Also, getting what you want all the time could never be that satisfying; I mean just look at celebrities or trustifarians.
 
“Aaahhhh yeah ” – pretty self explanatory.  
 
Anyway, all that said, here are some crazy closeout deals from Black Diamond:
 
-Black Diamond Women’s JETSTREAM GLOVE (closeouts) – 15 bux!! We got a LOT of these, and everybody needs them.
-Black Diamond GUIDE GLOVE (closeouts) Perhaps the greatest gloves ever made, on sale for $79.95 – deals like this give me hope for a better tomorrow
-Black Diamond VELVET Ski (closeouts) $319.95 for a pair of luscious Velvets?? –You want them. You need them. You don’t even have to try, just give us $319.95.
-Black Diamond HOTWIRE Carabiner- Blems – now only $4.95!! Bringing climbing back to the proletariat: that’s how we do.

 

 
I went down to the Chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"
I said to him...

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We walk on two legs; that is why we, human beings, are, and always will be the dominant species of planet earth. Sure some birds do too, like penguins, but penguins are savages. Apes do from time to time, but they always have horrible posture. Because of our two legged mobility, we have had much free time to invest in more enterprising pursuits than huddling in a giant circle for warmth or scratching parasites off neighbor’s backs.

 
Just look how far we’ve progressed in like, every department; all other animals are retarded compared to us. Science, language, philosophy, footwear - we’ve got them all on lock. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever seen a quadruped make? A beehive? An anthill? …wait, those are insects… it doesn’t matter - the point is you won’t catch a monkey or a dolphin making high-end trail-running shoes. So what if they don’t need them, not the point. Horses actually do need shoes, but they’re too stupid to make them themselves, so they have us do it for them.
 
All I’m saying is when I see fine, hand crafted Trail runners like the ones we just received from Salomon, I just feel proud, proud to be a homosapien. And then I think about all those barefoot hippies and I just want to puke; spitting in the face of the very evolution that has done them so well. Disgusting. If I had my way I’d have all those smelly freeloaders locked away in standing cells until they wished they had shoes. Maybe I’d take a few of the better specimens to the zoo where they would have to live off bits of granola thrown to them by visitors.
 
Anyway, we received two really sweet closeout Solomon trail-runners:
 
 
Stay human,
 
Sam

 

 

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