Let’s start with the Rolling Stones:

“You can’t always get what you want,
but if you try sometimes,
you just might find you get what you need,
aaahhhh yeah ”
           
Then Jagger starts strutting about the stage in that very special way of his, and all the ladies instantly become pregnant. Now let’s examine the meaning of that Rock ‘n’ roll cliché, and then find some far reaching way to relate it to BD closeouts.
 
“You can’t always get what you want” – that’s a given. We would love to get closeout deals on everything; but that’s just not how it works. I asked for a unicorn named Osiris like four Christmases ago and it never happened. We asked REI nicely if they could just send all of their customers directly to us, and they said no, like we were asking for some huge favor. You get the point.
 
“But if you try sometimes,” – and we do try, trust me. We try really, really hard. I personally try so hard sometimes that I get a little backed up. Point is: effort is essential.
 
“You just might find you get what you need,” – and we do, and so do our customers, though some of our customers don’t know what they need until we tell them. And really, if we were to get every closeout buy that we ever wanted we would be so overwhelmed with joy and workload that our operation would collapse upon itself’. Also, getting what you want all the time could never be that satisfying; I mean just look at celebrities or trustifarians.
 
“Aaahhhh yeah ” – pretty self explanatory.  
 
Anyway, all that said, here are some crazy closeout deals from Black Diamond:
 
-Black Diamond Women’s JETSTREAM GLOVE (closeouts) – 15 bux!! We got a LOT of these, and everybody needs them.
-Black Diamond GUIDE GLOVE (closeouts) Perhaps the greatest gloves ever made, on sale for $79.95 – deals like this give me hope for a better tomorrow
-Black Diamond VELVET Ski (closeouts) $319.95 for a pair of luscious Velvets?? –You want them. You need them. You don’t even have to try, just give us $319.95.
-Black Diamond HOTWIRE Carabiner- Blems – now only $4.95!! Bringing climbing back to the proletariat: that’s how we do.

 

 
I went down to the Chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"
I said to him...

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We walk on two legs; that is why we, human beings, are, and always will be the dominant species of planet earth. Sure some birds do too, like penguins, but penguins are savages. Apes do from time to time, but they always have horrible posture. Because of our two legged mobility, we have had much free time to invest in more enterprising pursuits than huddling in a giant circle for warmth or scratching parasites off neighbor’s backs.

 
Just look how far we’ve progressed in like, every department; all other animals are retarded compared to us. Science, language, philosophy, footwear - we’ve got them all on lock. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever seen a quadruped make? A beehive? An anthill? …wait, those are insects… it doesn’t matter - the point is you won’t catch a monkey or a dolphin making high-end trail-running shoes. So what if they don’t need them, not the point. Horses actually do need shoes, but they’re too stupid to make them themselves, so they have us do it for them.
 
All I’m saying is when I see fine, hand crafted Trail runners like the ones we just received from Salomon, I just feel proud, proud to be a homosapien. And then I think about all those barefoot hippies and I just want to puke; spitting in the face of the very evolution that has done them so well. Disgusting. If I had my way I’d have all those smelly freeloaders locked away in standing cells until they wished they had shoes. Maybe I’d take a few of the better specimens to the zoo where they would have to live off bits of granola thrown to them by visitors.
 
Anyway, we received two really sweet closeout Solomon trail-runners:
 
 
Stay human,
 
Sam

 

 

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20
Jan
Hey all, peep all this terrific new Patagucci. Fall 09 just ended and we already have closeouts. How do ya like that? You like it a lot, trust me on this. Its because we’re so awesome, and because our fearless leader strikes fear into the hearts of outdoor companies everywhere; he gets what he wants, every time.
 
Behold:
 
-Patagonia Men’s STAND UP Pants (Fall 09 Closeouts) - these are for upright use only; sit down in them and you’ll be in a world of pain.
-Patagonia Women’s SERENITY TIGHTS (Fall 09 closeouts) – I tried these on and yeah, “serenity” is definitely the word I would use
-Patagonia Women’s SLOPESTYLE HOODY (Fall 09 closeouts) – these are very, very white – just like Curtis.
-Patagonia Men’s PADDLER SHORTS (fall 09 closeouts) – if I was still a paddler I would totally rock these
-Patagonia Women’s ACTIVE CLASSIC CAMI (fall 09 closeouts) – don’t know what a cami is, ask Lisa
-Patagonia ACTIVE MESH BRA (fall 09 closeouts) – bra, not Brah – there is a difference 
-Patagonia Women’s SUNSHADE SHIRT (fall 09 closeouts) - makes any woman invincible to all UV threats
 
 
Stay classy Denver, 

Sam

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         I awoke this morning to a feeling of joy and deep satisfaction. As I guzzled my first pot of coffee I couldn’t help but to reflect on our staff’s stunning contributions to the gigantic Smartwool order we received not to long ago. Anyone reading this already knows that we have a totally radical website stuffed to the gills with value and shear awesomeness. However, images of products are sometimes hard to come by. As such, I have been enlisting some of our prima donna staff members to model some of our fine outdoor goods.

 

            I believe every staff member now, at one point or another, has swallowed their pride, reevaluated their self-worth, and offered up their beautiful bodies to further the capitalistic agendas of the mighty WildyX. And for their participation in this depraved entrepreneurialism, I would like to thank them. Thanks staff, you guys are swell.
 
Here are the socks we got from Smartwool:
 
 
         Upon completion of the Smartwool project, I couldn’t help but notice that our entire crew has beautiful feet!! I wanted to find some way to thank the staff, and I thought surely there had to be some demand out there for gorgeous feet. So I looked into it, and was pleased with what I found. Not only do some gifted individuals make a career in foot modeling, but there are actually a plethora of special interest websites out there devoted to the beauty of human feet!! I went ahead and sent everyone’s foot-shots to a variety of agencies and websites; it was the least I could do.
 
Stay pretty,
 
Sam

 

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            What is a ninja? It sounds like a simple question, but in this day in age, it is not. Everybody knows that ninjas and pirates are two sides of the same coin; similar, though eternally opposed, just like the Sunni and the Shi’a, Protestants and Catholics, the Broncos and the Raiders (Broncos obviously being the ninja equivalent). Chances are, if you’re a ninja, you already know it. On some subconscious level, you also distinguish ninjas from pirates wherever you are, and it is reflected in your behavior. You tend to clash with people with piratical tendencies. Also you tend to gravitate toward clothing that is conducive to you silent yet deadly lifestyle – this is where Minus 33 comes in.

 
Just look at Lisa, she is clearly ready for a bloodbath.
 
 
Lisa is sporting these three items:
 
Together these items create a nearly flawless ninja ensemble. Each item is also pretty ok by itself too.
 
There is also this one (very stealthy)
 
For more information on ninjas click HERE
 
Until next time, keep it Ninja,
 
Sam

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In the early 90’s, “sampling” opened up a new realm of musical exploration for artists- any genre from any era could now be freely used and recombined to create new sounds and styles of music. Backcountry ski touring has also undergone a similar trend of sampling. Think of today’s state-of-the-art ski touring equipment as the Vanilla Ice of backcountry snow travel!

What is Rugged Touring?  Essentially, it is using skis as a winter backcountry travel tool to allow the most effective mode of transportation possible, over snow, through mountain valleys, peaks, and passes. It incorporates elements of X-country, telemark, and ski mountaineering. It selects freely from generations of tried and true equipment and combines them with the best ski technology available today.

The Ski
Today’s Rugged Touring skis have metal edges for control, waxless “fish scale” patterns on the base for climbing (like traditional X-country skis), and shorter lengths and wide modern side cuts for turning. These are an entirely new beast, and they are the key that opens the door to modern Rugged Ski Touring. Four of the best examples of this type of ski available on the market today are the Karhu XCD Guide, the Karhu XCD 10th Mountain, the Alpina X Terrain, and the Alpina Lite Terrain. They look and ski incredibly similar to modern Tele and A/T skis, but are lighter and have patterned bases for traction, eliminating the need for adhesive climbing skins which inhibit glide and increase transition times. In selecting the appropriate model, the main consideration is that the wider skis will ski better, and the narrower skis will tour and track with less effort. You really can’t make a bad choice with any of these models that are now available at Wilderness Exchange Unlimited.
The Boot
Still, after years of experimentation and product development, you can’t beat the classic 75mm 3-pin boot for its combination of control over steep and difficult terrain, and touring ease. Two excellent examples of this type of boot are the Alpina BC 1575, and the beautiful Crispi Antarctic leather. The Alpina boots are light, nimble, warm, and can effectively turn a ski. The Crispi Antarctic deserves special treatment in this discussion. This is a classic Italian-made Norwegian–welted old-school leather 3-pin boot. These are the boot that every tele skier used before 1994, when the Scarpa T1 ushered in the new era of modern plastic. The beauty of the Antarctic is that it allows the skier to actually make hard-driving telemark turns on lightweight Rugged Touring equipment, opening up the limitless potential to ski any slope that they encounter. These boots are not available in the United States, and Wilderness Exchange Unlimited has gone to great lengths to import them directly into the country from Italy.
The Binding
The binding of choice for Rugged Touring is the classic 75mm 3-pin. Modern telemark cable or cartridge bindings are too heavy and constraining, and NNN-BC bindings, while providing the most effective touring efficiency over moderately hilly terrain, do not offer the necessary control for going downhill over steep terrain. The four best examples of this type of binding are the Karhu 75mm BC 3-pin, the Voile HD Mountaineer 3-pin, the Voile 3-pin Cable, and the Voile 3-pin Hardwire. The Karhu 75m BC 3-pin is a clean, effective, inexpensive choice for touring. The Voile HD Mountaineer 3-pin has a larger mouth and can accommodate plastic tele boots. The Voile 3-pin Cable allows the skier to tour with only the 3-pin, and then engage the cable behind the heel of the boot for added control and turning. The Voile 3-pin Hardwire deserves special treatment in this discussion. This binding comes with riser plates, can accommodate a climbing wire, and when engaged, allows the skier to make hard-driving telemark turns on an active cartridge binding. Combined with the Crispi Antarctic, there is simply no better rig for a skilled tele skier who wants to travel miles into the backcountry and ski anything he or she desires.
To Skin or Not To Skin ?
The answer to this question entirely depends on the type of terrain that the skier intends to travel on. Depending on snow conditions, the patterned bases of modern Rugged Touring skis are adequate for uphill travel on slopes up to 25%-30% in steepness. Climbing slopes beyond this will require duck-walking, sidestepping, and aggressive switch-backing. Generally, sustained slopes steeper than this are the realm of heavier full-on backcountry A/T or Telemark equipment. For Rugged Touring gear, you may want to consider carrying a kicker skin or a narrow full-length skin for accessing more alpine terrain. Wilderness Exchange Unlimited currently has an amazing deal on narrow width G3 Expedition skins at only $49.95.
Poles
Adjustable ski poles are mandatory for Rugged Touring.
Avalanche Safety Equipment
If you are going above tree line in the winter backcountry, avalanche safety equipment and the skill and knowledge in its use is mandatory.
New generation Rugged Touring gear is one of the most efficient and fun modes of human-powered transportation ever invented. Here at WildyX, with the Colorado Rockies in our backyard, we have selflessly devoted years of our lives to this activity, and we vow to our customers to continue to do so- for them… The gear we offer is truly futuristic and incorporates the best of over 100 years of design, experimentation, and just going out and skiing. Ice, Ice baby!

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Check it: 

-Voile MOJO SPLITBOARD – two sizes!! Real pretty colors!! Incredibly/mildly complicated binding system!! Lisa who is widely recognized as our most intelligent (animatronic) staff member was unable to figure them out in a timely fashion. Rumor has it that Mike (our tallest and most socially conscious staff member), actually has some field experience with these blasphemous contraptions. When in doubt, ask Mike. That’s what I always do.
-Voile TRACTOR SPLITBOARD SKINS – Splitboards need skins too
-Voile SPLIT KIT – take that crappy old board out, chop it in half, open a beer and prepare to be frustrated. Actually, I’ve heard that pretty much anyone operate a skill saw can do this.
-Voile 3-PIN CABLE – time to get excellent and do some rugged touring brah!
-Voile KNEE PADS – whether you’re working a winter night on east Colfax or enjoying an early season backcountry session, these puppies will keep your knees happy and safe!
 
Now commence gnar-shredding,
 
Sam

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We just received a bunch of cosmetic second climbing gear from Omega pacific. We are slanging this stuff crazy-cheap. I can’t even describe how happy this makes me. When I opened these boxes, I started sweating profusely, my hands became ice-cold, my nose started bleeding, I went blind for a second and then passed out. Sadly, none of that had anything to do with Omega Pacific, but that’s not the point. The point is: we now have some of the best deals on climbing gear this side of the Mississippi. It’s going to be interesting to see how our loyal dirt-bags mingle with our new affluent, upper-middle class clientele we seem to be attracting.

Check it:
 
-Omega Pacific MOUNTAIN AXE (blems) – if you can actually climb ice with these… then you are a harder man/woman/hermaphrodite than I. I’ll bet Andy Donson could. Still, $30 for an ice-axe? What next, $20 ropes? No wonder they sold out in like two days.
-Omega Pacific ICE SCREW (blems) – now even homless people can safely climb ice
-Omega Pacific 4.0 WIREGATE (blems) – radical sabbatical
-Omega Pacific OVAL (Blems) - …hooray for ovals…
-Omega Pacific TACTICAL DOVAL (blems) – this biner has been instrumental in the USA’s conquest for foreign oil.
-Omega Pacific NYLON DOGBONES – took one home to my doggie. He didn’t like it much, but that doesn’t mean anything.
 
Can I get a witness… or at least a notary?
 
Sam

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Here is what came in from Chaco. They are all fantastic closeout deals. Some of them (the men’s Z/1, the women’s Z/2 and the women’s Hipthong) are the same as our current inline stock. We will re-price the remainder of our inline stock as closeouts. Dig?

 
-Chaco Women’s ZONG (closeouts) – when I hear “ZONG”, sandals are not the first thing that comes to mind. These do, however, appear to be very nice sandals.
-Chaco Women’s HIPTHONG Ecotread Sandal – remember the “thong song” by Sysco? Yeah, it was a terrible, but these sandals are not.
-Chaco Men’s FLIP (Closeouts) – Filp to tha flop and it don’t stop…cause it’s a 187 on a muthahuggin cop.
-Chaco Men’s Z/1 Unaweep Sandal (Closeouts) - thses are neat.
 
 Four new closeout shoes from Montrail (bless their hearts):
 
-Montrail Men’s TORRE GTX – The lady’s version did well for us, hopefully the dude’s follows suit.
-Montrail Women’s S’PRESSO – looks like a pretty neat shoe
-Montrail Men’s HARDROCK – This is a fairly different shoe than the one than the 08’ model that we have been selling. I think most of the changes are cosmetic, but the trail will tell.
-Montrail Women’s HARDROCK – Now women can rock hard too, like Josie and the pussycats.
 
If you stare into the sun long enough all of life’s mysteries will become clear…or you might just go blind, but it’s totally worth trying.
 
Sam

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What is more hood than snowshoeing? Bustin one’s glock in the event that haters be flexin’? Sippin’ on syrup? Throwing a sign in someone’s face? C-walking all the way to the grocery store? Breaking laws and racing cars? Making bail? ATL? ……all of those things are pretty hood/street/ghetto, but I’m still saying that snowshoeing is slightly more hood than any of the aforementioned.

Peep this, they all be new products:
 

 

 
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go  
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
 
               -One of Donny’s hommies from 8 Mile

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