28
May
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Oh my goodness, what a weekend. Memorial Day weekend is the time of the year that we all take time to remember, and pay our respects to all of the brave men and women who have protected our freedom over the years. Most of us do this by consuming entirely too much delicious food and beverage, until we can nearly taste the half-digested freedom bubbling back up from our overstuffed American bellies.
So as I sit here in the World Headquarters of the WildyX, still struggling to expel the patriotism of the weekend prior, and replenish my precious bodily fluids, I can’t help but to reflect on the hordes of new product that arrived over the last week.
Most of what came in over the past week, although very exciting, is nothing new for us. Just the same tried and true outdoor goods from Mammut, Smith Optics, Mountain Hardwear, and Five Ten that keep us in business, and keep you enjoying the great outdoors of the one true global super-power.
This week also marks a very important transition in the cultural representation of the WildyX. Our Australian ambassador Holly Barrass is being deported this week and is being temporarily replaced with one or our most seasoned and knowledgeable veterans Lisa Aquino. Lisa comes from some third-world country that nobody has ever heard of (although I’m still convinced she’s from Mexico). Lisa is stronger than three orangutans duct-taped together and shot full of steroids. She is an aficionado of climbing the “Gnar-Gnar” which can be defined as wade, gaping, and burly crack climbing (i.e. Veadauwoo); which brings me to our first new product:
-Five Ten Women’s GUIDE TENNIE – It’s high time that somebody designed a shoe that allows the ladies to thrash and bleed and suffer in horrendous off-widths while still looking feminine.
Holly had a going away party last Friday. Good times were had by all, and we all rejoiced knowing that we would not have to see her for another…no, just kidding, we love Holly (though we can only understand about half of what she says). That night Holly delighted us with her culinary mastery, which brings me to yet another new product:
-JetBoil FLUXRING FRYPAN – This thing works seamlessly with your JetBoil system, and will allow you to cook up any varmint that you might come across on your adventures including (but not limited to) gofers, squirrels, badgers, turtles and moose.
One more new product worth mentioning is the MammutPASSION w/ FUSE Belay Device Package. It’s a very pretty rope and it comes with an equally attractive belay device called the Fuse. If this climbing package were a Hollywood couple they would dominate the tabloids; they are that pretty.
Ok, that’s about enough for now,
Sam
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