23
Jul
It was a rather slow day at the old WildyX. The weather was hot, spirits were low and the vibe of the day was somewhere between melancholy and blasé. Our fearless leader was out on the town rubbing elbows and flexing his masterful entrepreneurship. Our trusty UPS driver walked into my spacious and sweltering office with only one little box of product. I signed for the package, finding it difficult to engage in our usually refreshing small talk. Josh (the UPS guy) took my outgoing and bid me good day. I mumbled a comparable sentiment back to him and was left once again in my maddening solitude.
I resentfully opened the box wondering what trivial fill-in merchandise I would have to receive before my departure. What I saw in the box made my jaw drop. There in that tiny box was a beautiful new product that I thought we would never see: the new DMM I.M.P. Brass Nuts!!! I hastily slapped stickers on them and sprinted down to the store to share the news with my able comrades. The reactions were classic. The Alpine Thompson let out a high-pitched screech and started slapping himself repeatedly in the face. Lisa (mini-me) Aquino let out an even higher pitched sound that shattered all the glass in the store and also started slapping Alpine repeatedly in the face. Our Fearless Leader made a low and uncomfortable sound (and face) and quickly ran to the restroom, he came skipping back to us minutes later, and slapped Alpine only once.
So what the heck is so great about brass nuts anyway?
- Well for starters, brass is a much softer and malleable metal than the alloys that other stoppers are made from. This means that when a placement is weighted, the rock digs into the brass securing the nut, whereas harder materials are more likely to break the rock around them.
- Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, investing in only two units will allow you to look people straight in the eye and tell them that you have a pair of “brass nuts” – priceless.
Climb safe, but use your nuts,
Sam
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