08
Dec
We just received a bunch of cosmetic second climbing gear from Omega pacific. We are slanging this stuff crazy-cheap. I can’t even describe how happy this makes me. When I opened these boxes, I started sweating profusely, my hands became ice-cold, my nose started bleeding, I went blind for a second and then passed out. Sadly, none of that had anything to do with Omega Pacific, but that’s not the point. The point is: we now have some of the best deals on climbing gear this side of the Mississippi. It’s going to be interesting to see how our loyal dirt-bags mingle with our new affluent, upper-middle class clientele we seem to be attracting.
Check it:
-Omega Pacific MOUNTAIN AXE (blems) – if you can actually climb ice with these… then you are a harder man/woman/hermaphrodite than I. I’ll bet Andy Donson could. Still, $30 for an ice-axe? What next, $20 ropes? No wonder they sold out in like two days.
-Omega Pacific ICE SCREW (blems) – now even homless people can safely climb ice
-Omega Pacific LOCKING D Carabiner (Blems) – aaahhhhh yeah!!
-Omega Pacific 4.0 WIREGATE (blems) – radical sabbatical
-Omega Pacific OVAL (Blems) - …hooray for ovals…
-Omega Pacific TACTICAL DOVAL (blems) – this biner has been instrumental in the USA’s conquest for foreign oil.
-Omega Pacific SCALLOP NUT 5 piece set (blems) – groovy… literally
-Omega Pacific WEDGIE 8-Piece Set (blems) – OH. MY. GOD…
-Omega Pacific NYLON DOGBONES – took one home to my doggie. He didn’t like it much, but that doesn’t mean anything.
Can I get a witness… or at least a notary?
Sam
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