Every morning at about 7:15 am I go into the bathroom and practice my game face and climbing scream for about an hour. In order to monitor my progress I record my screaming on my roommate’s 24 track hi-fi recording system. Then, I go upstairs and blast the recording on our 2,000 watt surround-sound system while I have my morning coffee and do a little yoga. Then, I put on my sweatpants and bike helmet and jog around the neighborhood.
Let me start by saying that Darn Tough socks really are darn tough…Yeah, it might sound obvious or redundant, but it’s worth clarifying that the name should be taken literally.
Ok, and now the bombshell…..(drum roll)….we just received 500 closeout units, and we are selling them for 40% off.
Crazy, I know.
Two styles – check it:
-Darn [...]
Salomon Men’s XT WINGS – closeouts! – Boo-ya! – Holla atchya boi!!
Everybody – that’s who. Deep in the heart of every climber, regardless of socioeconomic standing, lays a savage dirt-bag. Sure, on the exterior we may look like doctors, lawyers, CEOs, CFOs, mechanical engineers with an emphasis in renewable energy, or even sales associates at the WildyX…But don’t be fooled, deep down we’re all smelly, dumpster diving, dine and dashing, VW bus driving, PBR drinking, incomprehensibly froogle hooligans with but one life goal – to climb, as much as humanly possible.
These are suspiciously good deals…
Here’s my theory: One night Don was looking at numbers and sharpening his pocket knife, debating who should be shived over the frightening figures. Our fearless leader had trouble sleeping that night. He kept tossing and turning, rolling over in his mind all the wows of his business and of the world.
So I asked our resident backcountry hard-person (Jeff) if ski season was over. He looked at me like a red-headed stepchild who should be beaten more often and said nothing. I took that to mean there IS still skiing to be had somewhere up there. I started to ask for more details, but he shot me that stepchild look again and I decided to leave it be.
I don’t own any offsets. I have used other people’s. They can be handy, but I’ve always done fine without them. Certainly, they can offer bomber pro where nothing else will truly engage, but I could never justify buying any (then again, I have a hard time justifying buying shampoo). They always struck me as more of a luxury than a necessity (then again, I also see toilet paper as a luxury).
In a perfect world, everyone would have a headlamp. Here at the WildyX, we believe that every man, woman, child, transvestite, transsexual, and geriatric person should own at least one headlamp, regardless of race, creed, orientation, socioeconomic standing, or criminal background.
Sadly, the rest of society doesn’t exactly share this view on headlamps. Change has to [...]
Disclosure:
Any views, opinions and/or beliefs expressed and/or insinuated and/or alluded to, may or may not necessarily reflect those of the Wilderness Exchange Unlimited, Megan Ellis or anyone she knows or has even met.
Who hasn’t dreamed of winning the lottery (other than those who are already unconscionably wealthy)? We all have. We’re all dreamers, and we’re not the only ones. But what would you really do with that situation?
