Let’s start with the Rolling Stones:
“You can’t always get what you want,
but if you try sometimes,
you just might find you get what you need,
aaahhhh yeah ”
Then Jagger starts strutting about the stage in that very special way of his, and all the ladies instantly become pregnant. Now let’s examine the meaning of that [...]
We walk on two legs; that is why we, human beings, are, and always will be the dominant species of planet earth. Sure some birds do too, like penguins, but penguins are savages. Apes do from time to time, but they always have horrible posture. Because of our two legged mobility, we have had much [...]
Hey all, peep all this terrific new Patagucci. Fall 09 just ended and we already have closeouts. How do ya like that? You like it a lot, trust me on this. Its because we’re so awesome, and because our fearless leader strikes fear into the hearts of outdoor companies everywhere; he gets what he wants, every time.
Behold:
-Patagonia [...]
I awoke this morning to a feeling of joy and deep satisfaction. As I guzzled my first pot of coffee I couldn’t help but to reflect on our staff’s stunning contributions to the gigantic Smartwool order we received not to long ago. Anyone reading this already knows that we have a totally radical website [...]
What is a ninja? It sounds like a simple question, but in this day in age, it is not. Everybody knows that ninjas and pirates are two sides of the same coin; similar, though eternally opposed, just like the Sunni and the Shi’a, Protestants and Catholics, the Broncos and the Raiders (Broncos obviously being the ninja equivalent). Chances are, if you’re a ninja, you already know it. On some subconscious level, you also distinguish ninjas from pirates wherever you are, and it is reflected in your behavior. You tend to clash with people with piratical tendencies. Also you tend to gravitate toward clothing that is conducive to you silent yet deadly lifestyle – this is where Minus 33 comes in.
Check it:
-Voile MOJO SPLITBOARD – two sizes!! Real pretty colors!! Incredibly/mildly complicated binding system!! Lisa who is widely recognized as our most intelligent (animatronic) staff member was unable to figure them out in a timely fashion. Rumor has it that Mike (our tallest and most socially conscious staff member), actually has some field experience with these blasphemous contraptions. When in doubt, ask Mike. That’s what I always do.
-Voile TRACTOR SPLITBOARD SKINS – Splitboards need skins too
-Voile SPLIT KIT – take that crappy old board out, chop it in half, open a beer and prepare to be frustrated. Actually, I’ve heard that pretty much anyone operate a skill saw can do this.
-Voile 3-PIN CABLE – time to get excellent and do some rugged touring brah!
-Voile KNEE PADS – whether you’re working a winter night on east Colfax or enjoying an early season backcountry session, these puppies will keep your knees happy and safe!
Now commence gnar-shredding,
Sam
We just received a bunch of cosmetic second climbing gear from Omega pacific. We are slanging this stuff crazy-cheap. I can’t even describe how happy this makes me. When I opened these boxes, I started sweating profusely, my hands became ice-cold, my nose started bleeding, I went blind for a second and then passed out. Sadly, none of that had anything to do with Omega Pacific, but that’s not the point. The point is: we now have some of the best deals on climbing gear this side of the Mississippi. It’s going to be interesting to see how our loyal dirt-bags mingle with our new affluent, upper-middle class clientele we seem to be attracting.
Here is what came in from Chaco. They are all fantastic closeout deals. Some of them (the men’s Z/1, the women’s Z/2 and the women’s Hipthong) are the same as our current inline stock. We will re-price the remainder of our inline stock as closeouts. Dig?
-Chaco Women’s ZONG (closeouts) – when I hear “ZONG”, [...]
What is more hood than snowshoeing? Bustin one’s glock in the event that haters be flexin’? Sippin’ on syrup? Throwing a sign in someone’s face? C-walking all the way to the grocery store? Breaking laws and racing cars? Making bail? ATL? ……all of those things are pretty hood/street/ghetto, but I’m still saying that snowshoeing is [...]
So just where does one draw the lines between death-metal, tech-metal, hardcore, death-core, scream-core, grind-core and death-grind? It’s a useless question with no conceivable answer. Now I know what you may be thinking, “how in the holy heck does Samhain plan to relate metal-genres to Mountain Hardwear products?” My plan is simple; it revolves around fourth [...]
